It was not a perfect year. But is there ever a perfect year? Being clean and sober does not purport or offer perfection. It gives us a chance to strive for progress. When we keep our Higher Power in our thoughts and actions, we come closer to perfection all the time.

Despite the disappointments of our complex lives, we are finally beginning to learn how to live. We are finally making progress.

Am I content to be less than perfect?

Higher Power, I pray that I may continue to strive for progress and be satisfied to be an imperfect human. You are reading from the book:



Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

As any year draws to a close, we should reflect on how we have grown in sobriety. We should also identify changes during the year that enabled us to overcome bad habits and to move closer to better patterns of living.

Though we never are guaranteed favorable outcomes, we should always remember that sobriety is its own best reward. We want a full life, of course, but it must begin with a decision to seek and to maintain sobriety at all costs.

We find that with sobriety, lots of other problems seem to solve themselves. Even if they don't, we have the tools to move forward and to achieve goals that always eluded us while we were drinking. Every year in sobriety is a year of growth.

I'll be conscious today of recent improvements I've made in my life and all my affairs. With sobriety, these improvements will go on for a lifetime. You are reading from the book:



Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

It sometimes seems that our parents love our brothers and sisters more than they love us. Being jealous of a brother or sister is often a confusing kind of jealousy. One minute we hate them and the next we love them.

Forgiving seems impossible at times. We wonder how Mom and Dad can be so nice to them. We think our parents don't see their true sides. We may feel like we get blamed for everything in the family while our brothers and sisters are praised.

Resentment is often hard to let go of. It is easier if we remember that we are the only ones hurt by hanging on to them.

Today let me be willing to let go of one resentment so I can benefit from a more comfortable sobriety. You are reading from the book:



Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

A friend of mine recently told me how he met his wife. He had watched her walk by his store every day for a year with her young son. She also happened to be a friend of his neighbor.

"Fix me up," he suggested to his neighbor. "We'll go on a double date. I really want to meet her." Unfortunately, the neighbor never got around to setting up that first date.

Finally my friend devised a plan. Every day when she walked by the store, they said hello to each other, but she never stopped to chat. This day, he was ready. He had his store keys in hand. "Would it be all right if I walked with you for a while?" he asked when she walked by.

"Don't you have to mind your store?"

"I'll lock it up," he said.

"You don't have to do that," she said. "We can sit here and chat."

That Friday, they had their first date. She was nervous.

The next weekend, they went out again. She was still nervous. He turned to her, "You can relax," he said. "I'm not going to try anything inappropriate. I just want to enjoy your company." As time passed, she did relax, and they continued to become friends. Three years later, they were married in a small ceremony. "I didn't want to overwhelm her son," my friend recalled.

He wrote his wedding vows. He promised to love her and care for her all of his life. He promised to love her son and protect him, as if he were his own. She lit up his life, he said, and he was grateful for her promise of companionship for the rest of their lives.

My friend is a lucky man, but not just because he found someone he truly loves. He is lucky because he is able to recognize the gift of his wife's love. Most of us have the ability to see when we have been harmed, hurt, or slighted, when we're not loved or treated the way we'd like to be. But we can learn to see those acts big and small when someone shows us love. They are the greatest gifts of all.

Call it believing we deserve love, lovability, or love-ability, the value is opening our eyes and hearts so we can see and receive love from others, friends, family, romantic involvements, and God. You are reading from the book:



52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

We take different kinds of pleasure in giving. Perhaps the purest is the gift to a child so young it doesn't really know who the gift came from; the pure joy that the teddy bear or pull-toy produces is our regard, unmixed by any expectation of return.

When children get older, we want something back from them: gratitude, respect. The gift is less pure. When lovers exchange gifts, their pleasure is often tinged with anxiety: Did I give more than I got? Did I get more than I gave? Or with power: He'll always remember where he got that shirt; she owes me something for the fur jacket.

To friends and relations our gifts reflect many things: our appreciation of their lives, our shared memories, our prosperity. We tend to give in a spirit of self-expression.

Perhaps the closest we can come to a pure gift is an anonymous one; a gift of volunteer work, of blood, or a contribution to a charity. Such a gift which can never be acknowledged or returned by those it comforts can heal our spirits when they are wearied by too much ego.

The gift of myself can be a gift to myself. You are reading from the book:



The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

Having empathy for those we love, and being able to share their joys and sorrows, is part of our nature as warm, caring human beings. Taken to an extreme, however, too much empathy can mean that we lose our boundaries as emotionally separate individuals. When that happens, nobody wins.

We're responsible for our own feelings. If we're too deeply involved in another person's emotional state, we may not be truly aware of our own feelings. If we take on someone else's response to a situation, we lose our own in the process.

In any situation, particularly one that is highly charged with negative emotions, we need to maintain a sense of self. If we allow ourselves to be swept up in the anger, fear, grief, or despair of someone close to us, we become less capable of giving help and support. Emotional maturity is one of the goals of recovery. We progress toward it as we differentiate how we feel from how another person appears to feel.

I can respect the feelings of others without making them my own. You are reading from the book:



Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

The persistent human cry is, "Hold me tight."
--Donald Joy

We need to be loved. We need to be held tight, and we need to hold others tight. Many of us are scared, and for good reason. During our using years, we held tight to addiction, but this attachment created serious wounds.

In recovery, first we let go of old behaviors, attitudes, and ideas. Then we grab hold - and hold tight - to the Steps, our sponsor, the fellowship, and the principles of the program. The tighter we attach to recovery, the quicker its care and love become part of our being. The tighter we hold, the deeper the values of recovery get planted into our minds, hearts, and souls.

It is, then, our job to hold on tight and allow the safety of recovery to hold us tight. We need to go to meetings, call our sponsor, read, pray, and meditate regularly, allowing the care found in the Third Step to grab hold of us and heal our wounds.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, I need Your love. Please hold me tight, especially when I'm scared or when I'm angry. Hold me until I can feel your love.

Today's Action

Today I will meditate on how I can tighten my grip on recovery and how I can let recovery hold me tighter. You are reading from the book:



God Grant Me... by Anonymous

Fear is only an illusion. It is the illusion that creates the feeling of separateness - the false sense of isolation that exists only in your imagination.
--Jeraldine Sounders

We are only alone in our minds. In reality, we are each contributing necessary parts offering completion to the wholeness of the universe. Our very existence guarantees our equality, which, when fully understood, eases our fears. We have no reason to fear one another's presence, or to fear new situations when we realize that all of us are on equal footing. No one's talents are of greater value than our own, and each of us is talented in ways exactly appropriate to our circumstances.

Freedom from fear is a decision we can choose to make at any time. We can simply give it up and replace it with our understanding of equality with all persons. Taking responsibility for our fear, or our freedom from it, is the first step to a perspective promising healthier emotional development.

If I am fearful today, it's because I have forgotten the reality of my existence. I am equal to all the people in my world, and we are necessary to one another. You are reading from the book:



The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

Nothing happens unless first a dream.
--Carl Sandburg

What do we see when we daydream about the future? Is everything much better than it is now, or are we still struggling with the same issues? Are we dreaming about what we really want or about what we think we want? Do we see the whole picture or just a piece of it? Do our daydreams match our goals?

Actions we take today affect how we live tomorrow. If we know what we want -- if we listen to our heart's desire, write down our goals, and keep them in mind with every action we take --we create our dreams. We turn our wishes into goals and our goals into reality.

Today I will visualize the life I want. You are reading from the book:



Letting Go of Debt by Karen Casanova

It's okay to have and feel feelings- all of them.
    Years into recovery, we may still be battling with ourselves about this issue. Of all the prohibitions we've lived with, this one is potentially the most damaging and the most long-lived.
Many of us needed to shut down the emotional part of us that feels anger, sadness, fear, joy, and love. We may have turned off our sexual and sensual feelings too. Many of us lived in systems with people who refused to tolerate our emotions. We were shamed or reprimanded for expressing feelings, usually by people who were taught to repress their own.
    But times have changed. It is okay now for us to acknowledge and accept our emotions. We don't need to allow our emotions to control us: neither do we need to rigidly repress our feelings. Our emotional center is a valuable part of us. It's connected to our physical well-being, our thinking, and our spirituality.
    Our feelings are also connected to that great gift, instinct. They enable us to give and receive love. We are neither weak nor deficient for indulging in our feelings. It means we're becoming healthy and whole.
Today, I will allow myself to recognize and accept whatever feelings pass through me. Without shame, I will tune into the emotional part of myself.    Melody Beattie- The Language of Letting