It is not uncommon to hear in group, "Why do these things always happen to me?" If "these things" are always happening to us, the obvious answer is that we somehow bring them on ourselves. We are largely unconscious of what we're doing wrong until, slowly, eventually; we manage to dig ourselves out from the results. (It seems incredible that we actually seek to be hurt, but in a way many of us do so, with regularity.)

But blaming others for our problems and indulging in self-pity don't move us along in our program.

Am I still blaming others?

Higher Power, help me take responsibility for myself and my actions, because blaming others will only keep me stuck.
 
You are reading from the book:

 Day by Day - Second Edition by
Anonymous

I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And never a word said she;
But, Oh, the things I learned from her
When Sorrow walked with me!
-- Robert Browning Hamilton

We may think that forgetting the past is essential for growth and peace of mind.
It's a tempting idea: we'll start over again, we think, fresh and new. But if we
lose that old pain, we'll also lose all that we learned. We may repeat our
mistakes, or make even worse ones next time. Dwelling on the past is equally
dangerous. We began recovery to build a better life.

To find and maintain our balance, each area of our lives needs attention. A healthy
mind in a healthy body is free to find God. And, with God's help, we can learn
to recognize and forgive our past mistakes, while we keep the remarkable lessons
we learned from life.

With our remembering, with our inventory, we can truly experience the repentance that
frees us from regret and remorse. When we acknowledge our mistakes, we can learn
from them and come to forgive ourselves.

Today
help me use my memories to learn and change. Help me to forgive my past.

You are reading from the book:

 Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

The cause is hidden, but the result is known.
--Ovid

We know it's coming before we do it. Our boy[girl]friend dumps us and we devour the ice cream. We don't get the promotion so we head for the bar. We have a fight with our spouse and treat ourselves to a new leather jacket - at his or her expense. We decide that because we're feeling bad anyway, we might as well take full advantage of it. We figure the worse we feel, the more entitled we are to the indulgence.

This type of behavior starts a cycle. The worse we feel, the more we want to self-destruct. Let's face it - our actions are usually premeditated.

We think about the ice cream, the drink, or the leather jacket until we can get to it. During the planning stage, we can shift gears. We think it through. We know we have a choice. We decide to do something healthy instead of destructive.

Today I will make only healthy choices for myself.

You are reading from the book:

Letting Go of Debt by Karen Casanova

  Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Part of the ego reduction necessary to our recovery is the acceptance of the fact that we are not and never will be perfect. Perfectionism gets in the way of recovery because it imposes impossible, unrealistic goals which guarantee failure. If we do not think we have to be perfect, then we can accept our mistakes as learning experiences and be willing to try again.

Deepening acquaintance with our Higher Power is good insurance against perfectionism. We come to believe that God accepts and loves us as we are, and this gives us the courage and humility to accept ourselves.

We are not perfect, but we are growing. In spite of our weaknesses, we can serve others according to God's plan for our lives. Accepting our own limitations makes us more tolerant of the faults and weaknesses of those around us. Together, we progress.

I am thankful that I don't need to be perfect.

You are reading from the book:

Food for Thought by Elisabeth L.

The first time we hear that Al-Anon is not about getting people clean and sober, we question the point of going. But what we soon learn is that the program is for us, not for the addict or alcoholic. We learn that we deserve peace.

We'll think with greater clarity because Step One will help us give up our obsession with the alcoholic. From Steps Two and Three we'll develop a trust in a Higher Power and thus give up our fear. We'll finally give up a burden we've carried far too long when we come to believe it's not our job to get anyone sober. Our job is to find happiness and offer love to others. Nothing can better us more than this.

Time spent at meetings is never wasted. My happiness will be strengthened each time I use some part of the program. You are reading from the book:



A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

Muddy water, let stand, becomes clear.
--Lao-tzu

A group of friends went swimming one day and one of them lost a ring in the bottom of the lake.

Everyone started diving from different directions to find it until there was so much mud and sand stirred up that no one could see anything. Finally, they decided to clear the water. They waited silently on the edge of the shore for the mud from all their activity to settle. When it finally cleared, one person dove in slowly and picked up the ring.

When we are confused about something in our lives, we will often hear answers and advice from all directions. Our friends will tell us one thing and our families another, until we feel pretty well mixed up. If we look away from our problem and let patience and time do their work, the mud inside us will settle and clear. Our answer will become visible, like the glimmer of silver in the water.

Am I overlooking the simple solution? 

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

We must constantly build dykes of courage to hold back the flood of fear.
--Martin Luther King, Jr.

The definition of courage is the ability to conquer fear or despair. In the past we may have been called courageous because we stayed in circumstances that were difficult or nearly unbearable. We may have felt that walking away from family, children, or friends was cowardly or displayed weakness. We may have felt that by holding back our tears we were stronger people.

Yet all the things we may have viewed as weakness are really signs of courage. All the things we believed to be acts of courage were really not courageous at all. If we walked away from difficult or unbearable circumstances, we would be conquering despair. If we cried, we would have been courageous by letting go of our fear, pain, or sadness.

Courage doesn't mean putting ourselves in stressful or unpleasant situations. Courage doesn't mean controlling our emotions. Courage is the ability to strengthen ourselves against the fear and despair of life, rather than be drowned by it.

What have I done today that took courage? I can be grateful for my courage and strengthen it.

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

...armed to deal with whatever comes

One couple never told each other anything negative if they could avoid it. They always protected each other from bad news. Their neighbors, however, were not that careful about what they said. They had a positive attitude but they believed that reality was not to be shaped or measured in their words, so they just laid it on the line with each other.

The first couple seemed more sedate and calm while their neighbors seemed more in turmoil. But over time the first couple's protective attitude worked like a wedge that drove quiet distance between them as more and more unresolved issues were ignored or sugar-coated. The second couple always clearly knew what was going on. They did not have to wonder what the truth was behind each other's words, and they dealt with issues as they arose. Time brought them more deeply into the lively embrace of their trusting relationship.

Bad news is part of life, just as good news is. When we engage life we do not shy away from problems; we do our loved ones the favor of speaking the truth. Then our relationships are armed to deal with whatever comes.

You are reading from the book:


The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

  Hope and patience are two sovereign remedies for all, the surest reposal, the softest cushions to lean on in adversity.
--Robert Burton

It is just as easy to think, "I can" as it is to think, "I can't." Both attitudes are habitual orientations to life that can become automatic with practice. Neither attitude has as much to do with the task at hand as it does with the inner spirit of the person facing the task. In either case, the task is the same - only the attitude is different.

But what a difference! The "I can" people are the ones we want to spend time with and to use as models. These are the people who either have never lost, or have worked to regain the positive outlook we are all born with. It never occurs to a baby, for example, that all that staggering and falling means he or she will never learn to walk. Babies grow, move forward, and succeed. They haven't learned to hang back or fear defeat. Knee-jerk negativity is something we can all do without. Let's backtrack to that time in our lives when all things were possible ... because they still are.

Today, I will focus on my successes. "I can" is my credo.

You are reading from the book:


Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

I've started to realize that waiting is an art, that waiting achieves things. Waiting can be very, very powerful. Time is a valuable thing. If you can wait two years, you can sometimes achieve something that you could not achieve today, however hard you worked, however much money you threw up in the air, however many times you banged your head against the wall. . .
--The Courage to Change by Dennis Wholey

The people who are most successful at living and loving are those who can learn to wait successfully. Not many people enjoy waiting or learning patience. Yet, waiting can be a powerful tool that will help us accomplish much good.

We cannot always have what we want when we want it. For different reasons, what we want to do, have, be, or accomplish is not available to us now. But there are things we could not do or have today, no matter what, that we can have in the future. Today, we would make ourselves crazy trying to accomplish what will come naturally and with ease later.

We can trust that all is on schedule. Waiting time is not wasted time. Something is being worked out - in us, in someone else, in the Universe.

We don't have to put our life on hold while we wait. We can direct our attention elsewhere; we can practice acceptance and gratitude in the interim; we can trust that we do have a life to live while we are waiting - then we go about living it.

Deal with your frustration and impatience, but learn how to wait. The old saying, "You can't always get what you want" isn't entirely true. Often, in life, we can get what we want - especially the desires of our heart - if we can learn to wait.

Today, I am willing to learn the art of patience. If I am feeling powerless because I am waiting for something to happen and I am not in control of timing, I will focus on the power available to me by learning to wait.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie