Blog Posts - Kiamichi Council on Alcoholism and/or Other Drug Abuse, Inc.

Today, I will not sit on the sidelines.

5/21/2014

He has served who now and then
Has helped along his fellowmen.
--Edgar A. Guest

It's hard to be interested in something that seems too remote. Sure, we're sorry for starving people in faraway places. And the TV news story about whole villages disappearing in an earthquake makes us feel terrible - until the next news story comes on. It doesn't mean we're bad people when we don't respond much to such tragedies. It only means they're not personal - and only the personal is real.

We care most about what we're involved in directly. If we're not personally involved, we're not very enthusiastic either. If we are the ones starting a new [12 Step] meeting, setting up the chairs, making the coffee, the success of that meeting means a lot to us. If our children are on drugs, we're not bored by city council meetings where new drug programs are discussed. It's our stake in something that makes it important.

The world doesn't need any more spectators. To feel more alive, we must be more alive. Caring is life and involvement is growth.

Today, I will not sit on the sidelines. I will act on behalf of a good cause that deserves my support. You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

Be careful with amends.

4/30/2014

Hurting someone thoughtlessly just to lift our own guilt is not a proper Step Nine. Amends are for rebuilding the burned bridges in our lives. But if amends will hurt someone, we must decide if it's in that person's best interest to be told now. Oftentimes it's best left unsaid, but never denied to ourselves or to God.

Changing our behavior intentionally is one part of making amends, particularly to family members who may have heard us say "I'm sorry" far too many times. Repaying money, repairing damages, and making charitable contributions on behalf of the person we have harmed are all honest attempts to right our wrong. The point in every amends attempt is to take responsibility for what we did and express our regrets. Couple this with changed behavior, and our relationships will improve immediately.

I will not shy away from any amends I need to make today, but I'll be careful not to hurt someone with information he or she doesn't need to know.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

I am a winner today!

4/16/2014

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
--Eleanor Roosevelt

In this moment, we are the best we can be. Today, we can work at loving the best in ourselves and not fearing the worst. We are truly wonderful and growing people with gifts and qualities that make us who we are. No one can make us feel inferior without our consent.

Now, we are in charge of our lives and growth. We can choose to let go of old negative thinking. We can choose to think positive, loving thoughts about ourselves. We never need to be victims again to addiction or to other people. We have options today. We can choose to grow in a positive recovery program. We can choose to have loving, affirming people in our lives.

Today I will stick with the winners. I am a winner today and every day.You are reading from the book:

Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

Celebrate your life and hear your spirit sing.-- Elisabeth L.

4/10/2014

"What's to celebrate?" some people ask. We all get our fill of the cynics. Their negativity can weigh down our spirits. But we don't have to let them control how we see our lives or theirs. To keep our own perceptions positive, it helps to detach from the naysayers. We will improve our chances if we consciously focus on gratitude for even the tiny blessings rather than on whatever might be wrong.

Becoming grateful is the strongest, safest means of feeling good now that we are abstinent. Not only does it readily alter our mood, but it changes our perspective on every detail of our lives. To be thankful rather than "thankless" is a small price to pay for unqualified happiness coupled with serenity.

We've all known people who radiate a singing spirit. They love life, themselves, and others. We seek out their company. We can be like those people for the travelers sharing our journey. Let's do it!

I will practice gratitude today and be a blessing in everyone's life.

You are reading from the book:
A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

Forgiveness

4/1/2014

When people don't forgive, they probably shorten their lives.
--Doris Donnelly

Sometimes forgiveness seems impossible and we feel stuck in the quicksand of our own resentment. When everything else fails, we can try the "First Five People Forgiveness Plan." Each morning we make a decision to forgive the first five people we come in contact with who make us mad. We forgive all five people without analyzing or deciding if they deserve to be forgiven. We promptly forgive each one of them without exception.

This simple plan can work wonders for those of us who usually hold on to resentments and anger. Letting go of anger and resentment lets us feel our loving side. In learning to forgive others we can begin learning about how to forgive ourselves, too.

Today let me also remember that I, too, deserve forgiveness. You are reading from the book:

Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

Differences

2/4/2014

. . . with no hidden cutting edge.

The respect and dignity a couple show each other set the table from which they are nourished for all other activities in their lives. Any feeling can be expressed in respectful or disrespectful ways. Anger is one of the most difficult to express respectfully. Everyone feels frustrated and angry at times. The crucial thing to learn is how to be angry and still be respectful - how to deal with our impatience without blame or put-downs. Many of us have to learn how to love without being possessive, how to be playful in a lighthearted way with no hidden cutting edge. When we treat our partner with disrespect, we pour poison into our own well. It may feel satisfying at first, but the long-term consequences are not good to live with.

When we are committed to respect in our relationship, we continue to learn at even deeper levels what respect truly means. We find that simply listening to each other - and letting in our differences - is a form of respect that nourishes us.

Name a difference between you and someone close to you that you respect.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

I will be a doer not a watcher.

1/27/2014

In three words I can sum up everything
I've learned about life:
It goes on.
--Robert Frost

Most of us are afraid of anything we can't control. Life is one of these things. During our drinking and drugging days, we had checked out of life. We were sitting on the sidelines, pretending we could get back into it whenever we wanted. But life went on without us. Friends built careers and loving families, and we fell behind. Friends built deeper intimate relationships. They became skillful at living a life of values and communicating with their Higher Power. We fell behind.

Working the Steps requires us to get working. Ours is a program of action. At times we will want to stop and sit on the side of the road again. But we must go on! Go and be of service. Go talk to a friend. Go to an extra meeting. We got sober to have a life, not to sit on the sidelines. We must be recovery in motion, living a program of action.

Prayer for the Day

Place me in the middle of life, Higher Power.
Help me be a person of action. When fear says, "Stop!"
Please whisper in my ear, "Go on, go on!"

Today's Action

Today I will be active and involved in my program and in life. I will be a doer not a watcher.

Example is the lesson that all men can read.

1/24/2014

Example is the lesson that all men can read.
-- Gilbert West

Patterning our lives after others is familiar. Maybe as kids we emulated "toughies" or the teacher's pet. As we grew, the criteria changed, but we sought role models, nonetheless. The career we chose and the family relationships we developed may have been inspired by the example of another. Today may be no different. Seeing our friends and acquaintances pursue paths unlike our own gives us ideas to explore. How lucky we are that teaching is never done and learning is merely a decision.

The only thing that has actually changed is our age. The opportunities for growth continue to flow. Our purpose for being here remains the same. Our responsibility to ourselves never abates. It's comforting to count on these things. It makes our choices simpler.

There's always the right step to take, the right response to make, the right attitude to foster. But if ever we're in doubt, the impulse to forgive and to love will never be wrong.

My action today may be an important example for a friend. I pray to choose my steps and words wisely.

You are reading from the book:
Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

Focusing on Solutions

1/23/2014

If we are to learn to cope with our illness and our life, we must begin focusing on solutions, not just on our
problems.

But this means we must change our attitude and outlook. We can no longer live as if there are only problems in our lives. We can no longer consider ourselves victims and hold on to the attitude that our life will never change. Nor can we continue to be consumed by self-pity. If so, we will fail to take responsibility for finding solutions. We will continue to live within what we have grown to know so well: our problems.

Do I let my problems define me today or do I seek solutions?

Thought for the Day

For every problem there is a solution.

You are reading from the book:
A Restful Mind by Mark Allen Zabawa

Nourish!

1/13/2014

Nourish SARA MUMBY, B.A., Program Administrator

A friend of mine recently posted on Facebook a financial blog that she was reading. She was looking for tips on how to feed a family on a budget. Being that food is one of my main expenses (beyond the usual housing, student loans, and utilities), I was curious to find ways that I could save money on one of my greatest indulgences.

Do you know what I found out? I discovered that only 5-10% of my income should be spent on food! I was shocked. I would say that in a really good month, I spend at least 15% of my income on food. In a month where I’m eating out with a lot with friends, throwing dinner parties, or maybe there’s an anniversary or birthday, I’m spending upwards of 25% of my income on food. Wow.

Digging a little deeper, I found out that one of the things I’ve been doing wrong is not setting a budget. Of course, I’m still going to keep spending money on eating out or buying a $10 block of specialty cheese from time to time. But if I want to save money, I need to know exactly how much I am willing to spend per week on food and then stick to it.

Some other money saving tips I plan to use:Plan meals and go with a list. If I plan ahead and I know about how much each item will cost, I can control how much I’m going to spend. This will also stop me from “splurging” on an expensive item.

Buy store brands. I’m somewhat of a brand snob, but through trying different products, I know what items I can save some money on and still buy quality food and those I cannot. Most of the time, I don’t notice a difference.

Use coupons. While I’m planning my meals for the week, I look for coupons I can use. What’s really awesome is that some grocery store websites provide online coupons that I can load onto my store discount card. So no actual coupons to clip!

Don't shop while hungry. Hunger is a sure-fire way to spend money on those instant gratification buys. I plan to shop when I can focus on buying the foods on my list.